Gave a student sex party and got knocked up? Oh, fuck it! (cringe)

Husband's on the phone. He feels like the handyman's gonna make him a cooldown right now

I have a boner, and your mouth is free - suck it if you want money

I won't scold you for being late, but I'm sure I'll fuck that babysitter

Courier, you fucked up, so fuck me (we'll order pizza later)

Fuck, my neighbor showed me her tits - now I can fuck her

Why is the hotel so fucking expensive? Oh, I get it, it's a cunt service

You're not much of a realtor, but you can twist it on your dick - after you've been fucked in the mouth